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What if I am making the worst decision of my life? 

Leading up to my move to Phoenix in 2021, that was the hot question of the hour. What if this is a no good, very bad, LIFE-RUINING decision?

I fretted. Big time.

But I never thought to ask: what if I am making the best decision of my life? 

I am so quick to plan for things going wrong, that I often forget to imagine things going right.

Last week, I flew east to Atlanta to see The 1975 in concert. And then drove to Nashville to see The 1975 in concert, the very next day.

This weekend, I will drive to San Diego and Los Angeles to, yes, see The 1975 in concert.

My equally-invested friend and I did these same shenanigans in 2019, bopping around to a handful of venues to bop to our favorite songs when I was but a darling 26 year-old.

But.

Endings: I hate them.

And yet I’ve experienced a smattering of these in the last year.

These endings are what one might describe as hard. They are the tearful kinds, the closures you need, but don't want.

I left the city I called home for a decade. I moved away from the apartment that was my home-sweet-haven for more than five years. I ended projects and businesses that have been dear to my heart for years. I said goodbye to people I never wanted to say goodbye to.

These endings have been cushioned by the newness of this current chapter of my life — a new city! a new business venture! a new community! — but they still leave a void. They aren’t the endings I would have written for myself, no matter how necessary.